Are You Diagnosed as “English Phobic”? Here is the Treatment

Apart from my profession, I have been associated with teaching and content writing since 2006. With the passage of time I have come across different kinds of individuals belonging to varied ethnic backgrounds along with different educational trainings. When I was Growing Up, (I know Growing Old is a new-age alternative for this term), we used to have 3 kinds of schooling systems including Matriculations, O/A Levels and Cambridge system. All three had their own pros and cons. Teachers were focused back then, they used to be specific and very particular about the language and the terms used by us (students). Back in those days studying in O/A Levels or in Cambridge system used to be a status symbol (believe it or not – it’s a fact). Today I see majority of people living in Karachi, Islamabad and Lahore (the Metro Cities) is sending their kids to either Cambridge Based Schools or O/A level schools. This is really good – but have you ever thought about the language they are using? Have you ever listened them conversing with seniors, juniors and individuals from their own age group? Well! I did, as I come across with more than many such students and professionals as well.

The new age students use almost same linguistics with every one, they treat everyone with same yardstick. There is a difference in speaking, with people from different age brackets and different backgrounds. I don’t know if you might agree with me or not. But I was taught to use politeness and decency while talking to seniors and juniors (and we still use calculated and definite words in front of them). We were allowed to get friendly with guys and girls of our age group. Whereas today this is “kind of” alien approach I suppose. The idea was to show and pay regard to others. These days we see every Tom, Dick and Harry speaking English language in great accent – this is the reason why most of the people are taken back when the other starts to speak. Trust me, nowadays it is only accent on which students and teachers emphasize. If you get your nerves under controlled, try to listen to the language that they use mostly, the grammar is terribly misused in most of the cases. I know American Culture is overshadowing ours as well, but all those who consider America as benchmarking tool, get some brains’ utilization. America is a country full of nation without culture and heritage.

There are also those people, who might not be able to speak English fluently and at a faster pace, but they have great grammar sense, they know how to write, what to write and which tone to use. So all those individuals out there who easily get impressed or at times stressed by the individuals with amazing Aussie or American accent based language, try to listen to them properly and reply back them with a well-knitted answer. Try to keep yourself calm, if you think you will be a bit late in replying as compared to their speed – don’t worry, if they will cut you off, they are not worthy of being communicated with. No one in the world has the right to point a finger on you on the basis of language. Your confidence is your discriminative point. Don’t lose it! English is just a language not a life-saving drug.

P.S. I have talked here about the majority – exceptions are always there, after all Pakistan has great talent and potential and I truly support this statement. All we need are right mentors and comparatively better paths to prove the same to world. Do not get personal as this (article) is an outcome of personal experiences, observations and incidents.

Stay blessed and be happy!

Pakistan's Very Own - "Mufta" Culture

Pakistan's Very Own - "Mufta" Culture

Few days ago I was reading an article composed by Maliha Usman. I kind of liked the article, which was titled as “Mufta Culture”. Well, she asked some really good questions that made me think about the possibilities behind the term Mufta. For those who do not understand what a “Mufta” is let me clarify – a person who does not spend a single penny from his pocket but expects and at many times demands from others to pay for those things which he wants to have for himself, is known as “Mufta” or “Free Loader”.

We can find such free loaders in multiple places that may include schools, colleges, universities and even offices. No matter from which class or family they belong, this disease is contagious. It transfers in a jiffy, if you are surrounded by free loaders. Most of the people compare free loaders with misers but in actuality this is not true. A miser not only tries to spend less from his pocket but he also does not want anyone else to waste his or her money on unnecessary stuff. Whereas a freeloader or better say hanger-on only wants others to invest for him. I am sure you must have come across to many individuals who usually demand for cigarettes, coffees, teas, samosas (in my context Bermuda Triangles), dinners or lunches etc. They mostly create hype after every slightest joy that can occur in their friend’s life. Like, if a guy has passed in his exams or if his proposal has been accepted by his love, the freeloader will ask him to “give a treat”.

Initially they used to be present in small informal groups but now we can find them in multinational FMCGs and even in any International Organization. The position, age and family background has nothing to do with this disease. Every person is, these days, affected by this plague. It is really difficult to fight this disease. This statement does not mean that there is no hope, am sure there will be a day when our nation will come to realize that it is much better to be in a position to give aid than to think about getting aid all the time. The root causes as per my understanding can include following points;

1. As a nation we are in habit of bending and bowing our heads and begging for help (be it foreign or local) in front of others. Similarly the people of nation are enjoying the cultural (better say National) heritage. So in short “Mufta Culture” is our very own Paki Culture. We are the originators whereas rests are copycats.
   
   
2. The concept behind “being a freeloader” is bullying the other person. This concept usually develops in early days and college days but later it grows with the passage of time and it becomes part and parcel of one’s personality.
   
   
3. Most of the people have eyes on others’ cash and belongings – Human Nature – hence they try to avail every possibility to enjoy that.
   
   
4. If people think that there is something wrong with such guys and girls, they are wrong themselves. Today in corporate world it is considered as a smart move and act of appreciation. 
   
   
5. Almost all the freeloaders have short term goals. They want to eat at a nice place on the expense of others or they can even ask for others to buy them soft-drinks etc.

 Thinking about self esteem is something which never crosses their minds. All they are interested in is “something for free to feast on”. One of the reasons behind this culture is lack of dignity. It is an open ended question, how many of us has the term “Dignity” left in ourselves? No need to get emotional here, just look around the system and you will get the answer. I am not talking about 05 – 07% of the total population, but the rest.

I personally feel that there is no way to cure this disease, as our society has accepted it the same way just like the Star Plus Dramas are accepted in our society these days, the only difference is name of the channel. Initially it was Star Plus, now almost same content is shown on HUM, GEO, ARY or any other TV channel. Coming back to the main point, I would like to quote few examples;

1. How can you expect something to get eradicated when the major telecom companies of your country are promoting their new packages with the title of “Mufta Packages”?
   
   
2. Why are all of us looking for “Free Services” or “Free Offers” instead of qualitative offers in which we may get Value Addition?
   
   
3. Can you say "No" to your senior when he asks for a treat on your promotion? Throwing a treat is a man's own decision, not a forceful outcome of bossy tone.
   
   
4. Don’t you think people wait for “All you can eat offer” all year? What is the concept behind it?
   

If you really want to stop it then the simplest answer is “I earn for my family and myself, I have to save for rainy day, no matter how big or small. Why should I spend on you? Give me one good rational reason?”

Am sure when we start to say such line loud to make others listen only then we can change this culture. Else, it will take over all around us.

Live your life with dignity, truthfulness and contentment will be the outcome!

Nothing can buy contentment but a life full of ethical and dignified codes.

Stay blessed!

Being Stereo Type Is what Being Ethical Was (Part 1)

There was a time when wearing skirts was not considered good in 80% of the society. Even kids wearing skirts and frocks, used to be informed and educated by their adults (like aunts, grandmas and other neighbors as well) to avoid wearing clothes which show the body parts – the skin. Back in those days, we (at least most of US) were proud to be associated with a CULTURE which used to be the Traditional Clothing for every individual of any age.

Back in those days (not talking about ages ago – but in 90’s and even late 80’s) there used to be some senses alive, amongst people. Here things might get twisted for those who have simply LOST IT! Few things like adopting everything from the Street were neither a GENTLEMAN’s thing nor an ELITE and ELEGANT Woman’s act.

There are multiple kinds of individuals who have their own perceptions and point of views, but on the whole the VIEWS lack in the points (its mostly the point which they want to emphasize – right or wrong has nothing to do with that).

There is a contemporary meaning of being Stereo-type, as per my observation – in today’s life. My thoughts and observations might be considered as over-statements, talibanization or even a narrow minded approach, but in reality, as per my discussion with individuals from different age brackets, from different localities and from different statuses – I wanted to bring it out, for the rest to comment on that – with complete freedom (here freedom is expression of thought with mature and educated mind not “FREE-DOMINATION” to impose only one thing.) 

So just think about the following facts:

1.   How many guys want their sisters and mothers to be eyed by other guys – from head to toe?

Is there anyone?

2.  How many sisters want their brothers to be known as Casanovas or Boy Toys?

3.  How many fathers would appreciate their daughters to move around with guys they do not know about (especially from which family they belong?)

4.    How many husbands want their wives to be catered by the attention of their friends and official colleagues?

I don’t think anyone would ever even dream about that! (Personal perception – can differ from others way of thinking)

Why do brothers allow their sisters to wear such dresses on which they themselves will hit on any other girls – if she would have worn that?

Why don’t girls prefer to walk to the market of bus stops after wearing particular kinds of clothes and prefer to go by personal conveyance?
 

Do they have any guilt or fear? If they say people watch them “so who is inviting them to watch?”

Why do fathers and brothers buy the “ALL NIGHT FREE PACKAGES” for their sisters and daughters – are they really that insane – and living in “SATYA-YUG” that is “ERA of TRUTH”?

Why don’t parents visit the universities, colleges and schools anymore to know the reputation of their kids? They definitely are busy enough in their own hassles that they overlook the fact that for whom they are embracing all the hardships have taken a somewhat wrong path in their lives.

Most of the individuals call such things “Experience” and “personality building” and even “confidence gaining activities” – REALLY?

For them I only have to say “Smoking, Boozing, Child Molestation and Incest etc are also experiences – are you ready to try them all?”

Bitter – hunh?

I heard a father saying “I need daughters not MODELS walking around in my house”

I heard a brother saying (in anger) “I wish I could treat my kid sister the way she really deserves)

I heard a sister saying “I wish brother to get out of the trap of - - -”

Haven’t you heard or thought about it at all?

This thing never crossed your mind?

By stating all these facts am not trying to preach that every woman should take Abaya or does not talk with any guy, or any guy must never talk to a girl and never make a pass (after all yester year’s successful love marriages must have been initiated by making a pass. And those individuals are proud parents of today’s youth as well as grandparents of today’s infants).

What I am trying to say is that there has to respect, love, dedication and sincerity in any relationship – but not time-pass activity, lust and infatuation etc.

Why don’t we appreciate and regard the fact that while driving in front of Mosques, Churches, Temples, Schools and Houses it’s better to lower down the volume of your music player? Its ETHICAL for me – but for most its being stereotype.

I am not sure, whether people tried to get my point of view or not. But I do want most of us to think on few questions, which have been stated here.

Bless you all – keep smiling – Try to observe and weigh.