Text Messaging - SMSes (The New Mantra) Part II

As promised, I am back with the second part of the “Text Messaging - SMSes (The New Mantra) Part I”. I have received messaged and comments on the post, so thank you all for making me write one real soon for you. Without much of delay, I would like to come straight to the point and present you with more justifiable full forms of the acronym “SMS”.

Sufi Must Sigh

Religion is something that, in today’s life, we don’t follow at all but we love to preach. Similarly, there is a new Sufi weapon that is accelerating in youth and even elders i.e. sending religious text messages to friends and family members. Not only that, at the end of the messages they (the senders) want you to forward the message to a particular number of people else you will be thrown out of your religion. Why, just because you haven’t shared the “Good message” with your friends and family? Strange! yet practiced.

Sleep Massacre Syndrome

Can you recall the times when you have had a longest day of your life and all you yearn is a sound sleep with your office suit and shoes on? Beep Beep, and again a beep… that’s a forward SMS distracting you from your soundest sleep. You check the message and notice that it’s nothing important. Within a few minutes you receive another message and you check it thinking it must be your boss wanting to discuss something about next day’s meeting but all you find is a forwarded text message. This keeps on playing with you and finally you can’t get what you desired when you lounged on that bed of yours. A perfect night ruined by forwarded text messages. Sigh!

Sweet Messages Showered

It’s not been too late that I can’t exactly recall those sweet and soft messages of my cappuccino sending me texts full of emotions and “lovey dovey” emoticons.  But definitely receiving such messages every time is not appreciated as a person has to study, work in office, drive car or attend a meeting etc. In such conditions these sweet messages are kind of a nagging experience.

Do share your comments and experiences, if you also have some interesting full forms for the same acronym.

Keep reading. Thanks!

Text Messaging - SMSes (The New Mantra) Part I

Short messaging service that is what an SMS stands for. Trust me, there are more than many full forms which can be extracted from this acronym and they all will live up to the full form. These days everyone is holding a cell phone in his/her hands. This is the reason why there are close to numerous cell phone packages that have been introduced in the market. To me it looks as if people are more interested in packages and cell phones than talking or expressing their feelings to their loved ones. Anyways, getting back to the main topic i.e. SMS and its arrival on not so perfect time, allow me to introduce you with some of the scenarios which you must have experienced in your life:

Sikh Message Supplies:

We are prone to jokes that are sent over cell phones. Most of the jokes are based on Sikhs and Punjabis. Rest of the front is served by Memons, as they are the only ones who can tolerate jokes on them. Consider yourself belonging to same cultural background and receiving such messages on daily, in fact hourly, basis. What will you feel? Just like every cloud has a silver lining, every person has a limitation lining. Having a cell phone loaded with some “cool” packages does not mean that such messages should be shared, every now and then.

Sexual Metaphoric Stuff

Whether its university life or professional life every one of us have come across some really dirty minds. After all, as said by a philosopher “the cornier the joke, the harder they laugh”. Many people are in habit of sharing wicked, sultry and sickly disgusting jokes. Let me accept that they do bring smile to my face, but there is nothing to “LOL” about. But again, repetition of same jokes is nothing but wastage of time. It is better to get serious in life and here seriousness does not mean saying a “NO TO SMILE” and a few laughs but quality of fun should be uplifted.

Sentimental Menace Senders

Do you have friends who don’t care to talk to you and they don’t even visit you when you need them the most? Of course, we all have such kind of breeds in our friend’s list. Just imagine them sending you sentimental and emotional text messages about love, friendship and relationship. To me it sounds totally B/S. Anyways, these so called “friends” text you and at the end of the messages it’s mentioned that “Send this message to 5 friends of yours and revert it to me as well”. I just don’t get it, if at first place they wanted to have it (the message) in their inbox then why do they move them to outbox? Emotional blackmailing is the best kind making anyone say whatever you want them to. You Guys Need A Break!

Am sure there can be more than many extensions and full forms of SMS (driven by one’s mind on the basis of their experiences). For those more, stay tuned!

Share your experiences and incidents that made you uneasy because of receiving weird SMSes.

Good Old Days - Part 1 (Happiness)

When was the last time you were happy? Being happy, does not only mean to smile or laugh. Now answer that simple question, “when was the last time, when you were really happy?” Strange isn’t it? You can’t recall it properly? Apart from becoming parents, these days, people mostly don’t realize what happiness is. I am not sure whether you still have those memories in your mind when receiving a “One Rupee” or “Two rupee” note (back then there were notes and not coins), unexpectedly from elder, was equivalent to something magnanimous, when a sudden visit from a cousin was a dream come true, when a surprise visit from either of the parents at school, in the lunch hour, to take you home for a surprise was filled with so much of excitement, fun and happiness. And there are countless other reasons which could have let you wear a smile all day long.

Remember the times when you kept on waiting for a call from a friend or loved one for hours and on every ring of the, non-digitized, phone you couldn’t stop your excitement but rush towards the telephone set, considering it was his/her phone call. That was the time when an ordinary cake from friends on your birthday could easily bring water to your eyes and happiness to your heart – the actual overwhelming state. The time when a simple three to four sentenced greeting card was read by recipient for hours and hours, whether lying on bed in the nights or during studying for the final exams. It is quite strange that now we, mostly, don’t spend hours and hours on deciding what to buy for our loved ones. After all, now we have a huge range of choices, though back in those days we had limited choices and even in those limitations we used to get something of sheer happiness and need for the receiver.

These days we are so much occupied with our jobs, professional and other commitments. But back in those days we used to enjoy “Life”, “Relations” and above all the “Moment”. A walk at the beach, no matter if hands in hands or eyes locked with eyes – the sense of “I am there for you” used to be satisfying for either. In older days we were not much exposed to technology, but we were definitely aware of the relationships, contentment and righteous conduct. And today we only talk about technology, benefits and results. We do not realize that there are far more important things which are of greater importance than benefits and results. Those were the times when even beggars had limited demands.

I am talking about those times when the biggest dream of a father was to let his son achieve his goals, by acquiring education in terms of degree, when a mother used to wish for her kids to get married happily, when a brother used to wish for his sisters and brothers to stay happy and blessed and when a son used to do every possible thing to provide his parents with every possible happiness – keeping all his goals and targets beside. To them those small acts were the happiness. They used to stay together and stay happy. They used to care for others to stay happy. And now! We live in state of the art houses! We work in multi nationals, we drive automatic vehicles, we operate newest gadgets and we eat at finest restaurants and still when someone asks if we are happy? We don’t have a rational reply!

The problem is that most of us have associated happiness with tangible items. For instance I want the newest laptop to become happy, I need an HSY outfit to get happy; I need an iPhone to stay happy and the list goes on and on.

I wish and hope that soon every one of us finds happiness, the real one

“Women” – Sexy – Part 1

(Sufficiently Enchanting, Xtraordinarily Yappy)

Everyone knows that women are the most unpredictable creatures. They can treat you the way they want to. If they know how to treat you like a king they also know how to treat you like rags. So, those individuals who think that they know the psychology of women are completely insane. The interesting thing is that even women don’t know themselves. Some think that they are unpredictable; some believe that they have multiple personalities but the bottom line is that they are confused. How? Well, most of the women know that they want to marry a guy who is good looking, handsome, charming, and loyal and XYZ but when they meet the particular kind of guy they suddenly start thinking of several other qualities that they want in their guy. They would then want value added traits in the guy.

Most of the men think that women have ideals and they want to live in an imaginative world. Well true, they definitely live in an imaginary world that’s why they always don’t believe (in fact they even don’t listen to it) if any one points out their mistakes. To them they can never commit a mistake; it is always a misunderstanding or confusion for them. They act as if they are so naïve, so sweet and so harmless.

According to a woman her ideal man (or going to be husband) should lend a hand if he sees that his wife needs his help, well the reality is, before any man can lend his hand or think about it, his woman clutches his neck with her hands tightly, forgetting that this can offer him a permanent ticket to heaven-land. At that particular moment she thinks (mostly) about herself getting out of the trouble! And what happens to her husband can be explained as his hard/bad luck.

On the other hand there are also women who think that He (hubby dear) should say some words of comfort if he feels that she is complaining of tiredness, weariness or boredom – and if he says anything to comfort her, he gets to listen things like “Can’t you see am tense?”, “Oh please be serious when will you take life seriously?”, “Is it a matter of fun for you?” and “You will never understand me”. What must a guy do in such a situation?

There are also women who think that their Mr. Right should make them feel that they are living with strong, generous, tolerant husbands who will protect them and care for them, one who cares about her and will meet all her legitimate needs whether he is capable or not. After sometime, the trait of “strong man” turns into “insensitivity” , “generosity” turns into “he is a sissy”, “tolerance” turns into the factor that is equivalent to boredom and protectiveness turns into “spying and non-trustworthiness” in the eyes of the women.

The whole scenario turns into a funny situation and a man when tries to do something different to bring spice in his and his wife’s life then ultimate thing happens where she starts to suspect that he is cheating on her!

Women! Are not creatures, but science! Love them, care for them, guide them and support them, but never let them invade your privacy and thoughts! After all if they need space, so do men!

And they think I am Crazy!

Just because a person wants to do what he feels, people (mostly) consider him (or her) weird. Why does one has to live according to others? And then it is said that people have freedom of living. Well, the reality is we are living in a society, irrespective of class segmentation, where we can still not “DO” what we want to. We are dependent upon our parents, spouses, kids, friends and professional colleagues and so on. 

The problem lies in other peoples’ mind not in one’s own. If a person wants to wear orange shirt irrespective of his age or hierarchical level he is considered as cheap. We do not associate people with their brains and capabilities but their dresses and visual smartness. On the contrary when we talk about using fonts for chatting, most of us go for vibrant colors and funky styles. Similarly all the marketing campaigns are carried out in unusual ways just to let that campaign differentiate from others.

Similarly if a person wants to look different from the “lot” then why does he have to face a lot of criticism and opposition from others? He usually becomes the center of the jest and tease from others. This does not tell how crazy he is but this depicts how crazy people are in either letting others feel shame or not letting anyone stand out. If a person is comfortable in his or her ways, why do others have to point it out as an alienating thing?

Similarly if a person loves to stay casual about things why do people have to force him to become serious psycho? Everyone has the right to live his life as per his own way and comfort then why do we try to influence others. There are numerous ways with which people influence other individuals. I personally believe that most of the individuals who are either insecure or frustrated within tend to advise others for being “so different” from the bunch. As they don’t have the balls to embrace that daring move hence they want to stop others too.

To me, it is a crazy thing to do. I mean we don’t stop people or friends from doing injustice to others. We also don’t stop any corruption, for which we have the power to stop. We even don’t stop our good friends (whom we respect) to date numerous girls and boys and fool them but we enjoy to stop them to live their lives in a way that they feel comfortable in.

Strange but true!

The English Fuck-tree (Factory)

Well this is amongst my first of “such posts” that I usually neither write nor read. It is in fact a thought that has encountered me almost every day, as I meet different individuals from different phases of life including students, professionals, entrepreneurs, bureaucrats and few politicians as well. All these individuals whom I met are usually educated, but the kind of language they use is pretty interesting.

Actually we (citizens of third world countries) have this “Keera”; worm of speaking English unnecessarily. Most of the individuals think that they do some “fantabulous job” when they speak this language. Anyways, following are few torturous, interesting and mind boggling incidents / encounters that I came across. At times they seem funny to me and at times (when I am tensed), they are horrible

I purchased a few CDs from a local music store, some of them didn’t work, and when I reached the vendor for exchanging the CDs he politely asked “Can I have your Dicks sir, so that I can check them by running and cleaning them in case they have scratches over them?” (phucking lord,  is it practically possible?) Then I realized he must be asking out for “Discs”. I handed him the Discs and he returned them after 10 minutes of thorough check-up by saying some golden words that I can never forget “Here are your new Dicks sir, enjoy them”

I was in my cabin working on a client’s file when a colleague of mine entered without knocking and asking me out “hey Dew’d you gotta Plaas?” I asked him twice what he meant and then he described the function of Pliers to me, to which I excused. Just imagine it in a situation when your “Boss” has assigned you an urgent task with limited timeline and someone asking questions like that.

Last month I was invited to a politicians’ house she, to me, looked quite qualified as the way she sa-peaks (Speaks) but when she handed over a note to me on which it was written “Well-cum to my hose” I was taken a back and re-thought, does she really wants/thinks that?” but then I retreated myself and kept my focus on other openings that might needed to be used in case of a quick exit.

When I was inducting writers in my team there were few incumbents whose interviews were scheduled some of them were really nice in both verbal and written English and some were horrifying. I interviewed a girl who was studying at Bahria University, she all of a sudden shoot “I don’t want to do a blowjob” (which she would have meant as “Below job”). I was literally shocked to hear her using such a term but then when she explained what she meant by “Blowjob” it all get clarified. On the contrary there are still many individuals who pronounce “Google” as “Googlie”. It is really hard to control a blast of laugh in such situations when you are sitting in a meeting and an enthusiastic employee adds his comments to get noticed by the others. And I don’t understand why “the” becomes “Daaa” and “Dhaa” by almost 75% of the educated class?

There are many people who are smart asses and they know how to blow their wrath out. In case if it is woman, a colleague of mine always asks “whore tame kee hoya hai?” (and/so what is the time?). Whenever he gets pissed off at any girl/woman he asks this to low down his BP.

There are many people around us who speak English as their fuss“t” language and not as FIRST (not because they know it but they speak to impress others). It is not just Meera or Veena whom we should make fun of, on the contrary we should not make fun of these people but instead educate them with. 

Share your thoughts on this and also share those words that you also find funny and extremely questionable (most usually read it as “Co-is-chun-able”)

P.S. Special Thanks to "Tashmeem Mirza" for correcting my mistakes)


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Pakistan's Youth - A false pretense (Part A)

Pakistan is a country that has always suffered from false hopes. Initially by the politicians and bureaucrats but now it is the youth that spreads propagandas at a level which, unfortunately, is not deserved. Well, I personally have no grudges against the youth, I have met few exceptional guys and girls lately but as I mentioned "FEW" not all. Pakistan and its people need to understand that every potential is not a potential that can elevate a character. We need to guide the youth, craft them, provide them with right kind of teachings and preachings instead of letting them do whatever they want to. And it also does not mean that we must force them to do something that either they don't want to do or something in which they cannot excel.

Few of the points that I have noticed in my virtual, professional and teaching career are stated as under; (apart from my personal observations, while traveling in a bus, attending a seminar or party etc)

Our youth never follows the queue
Is it really a big deal to stand in a line? Or is it really difficult to keep a line straight instead of a zigzag one? I have seen in many universities that instead of one proper queue, there are several scattered students forming a queue. This is the behavior of Educated Pakistan and not of those who belong to under or non-privileged groups. If the youth does not have the patience to keep the queue straight how on earth will it be able to straighten up the freaked out life and profession in future? Plus there are few, in fact many, who try to break the queue with either an excuse or attitude (both males and females).

Do they follow Rules?
Hello biker boys! And speedy Gonzales. I am sure every third person belongs to this category, call it anything, for instance, getting late for lecture, class or date the bottom line you speed up and break the signals. Don't you do it? Or haven't you done such things in last 5 days? It takes guts to answer truthfully.

Does your youth respect "Women"?
Today in Pakistan women are doing wonders. Gone were the days when women were not allowed to work or attend universities. These days (talking about the educated class) women are found in majority as compared to men in colleges, universities and offices. Few of the universities and offices have set a clause in their policy that 65% of the staff and students must be women to increase the ratings and standards of the organization and institute (personally witnessed). So in the era of such a womanizing period the youth (including boys and girls) do not pay the deserving regard to the women. Why? Youth is educated, sensible, mature and well groomed as per many think tanks and leaders. So what is the reason behind indecency and cheapness that is mostly witnessed by almost everyone on 14th August, New year eve, Basant or Valentine's Day?

Cars, Mobiles, Gaming lappies and Face book Pedias
Today's youth is surrounded by best gadgets and best available technology, that is the reason why it concentrates more on tangible things like cars, cell phones, lap tops and face book accounts etc rather than focusing on intangible thing things like honesty, character, virtue and success. Are parents and teachers providing too in comparison to what these youngsters actually need and are capable of getting? They prefer to spend hours and hours in front of their PCs (there is no harm in this, provided they do something fruitful and beneficial) just spending their time on Facebook, playing few stupid games there and liking posts and pages. Do you think this in any way will work? They want every luxury in their lives but they do not want to "work their bases off" to achieve them.

I am sure these are few of the traits which must be witnessed by my readers as well, I don’t think, I am the only one who noticed these things!

Soon, I will come up with few more examples to discuss them with you.

Take cares!

And TAMANNA BEGUM Dies after Spreading Smiles for Decades – What She Left for me are few Questions

There was a time when Pakistani Film Industry and not “Lollywood” was at its peak. People used to watch Pakistani movies all around the world. We had collaborations with Nepal, Bangladesh, Bangkok, China and India etc. Movies used to celebrate Silver, Golden and Platinum Jubilees. Cinemas used to be studded with audiences. In those days, there lived a performer, who was as innocent as a child in all her comic roles and who also had the potential to look cruel and unkind when she used to bag a vamp’s role. Tamanna Begum (late) had one of the strangest personalities that one can find in film industry; incorruptibility and mischievous sprite both at the same time were find in her. And she won her audience in both undoubtedly.

She started her career with Radio Pakistan then in mid-60’s she started theatre and later introduced to Pakistani Film Industry. The woman who performed and competed neck to neck and shoulder to shoulder, with one of the finest comedians of Pakistan ever produced LEHRI along with Rangeela and Munawwar Zareef. On the contrary when she was cast against Agha Talish, Adeeb and Alauddin who were and still are considered as volcano of high voltage dramatic scenes, she stood out with her bravura performance and impressed the audience. She acted with legends of Pakistani film stars like Muhammad Ali, Waheed Murad, Nadeem, Mustafa Qureshi and Shahid etc. and earned the title of legend herself.

She earned a lot of appreciation in comic roles, but I personally prefer her bitter roles as well – it used to take an instantaneous moment to abhor her, with those performances as she fits to the character just like a latex-glove in hand. I suppose this is the quality of a true performer. After the downfall of Pakistan’s film industry, or better put it as, after the transition of Pakistani Film Industry to “Lollywood” she adieu film industry and started to focus on TV dramas. From 1960 to 2012 the legend kept proving herself a true performer no matter what kind of roles she was bagged with. Her journey from Multan to Karachi and from 1960 – 2012 definitely had ups and downs – and only a strong headed and powerful woman like her could manage to travel on such path with consistency and élan.

As per the sources, prior to her demise, she was working for “Bubban House” (An Ever New Production). So, its not just Raj Kapoor or Moin Akhter who believed on the motto “The Show Must Go On” – Tamanna was in the same league of performers too. She was under treatment for 9+ months but government of Pakistan did not bother to take care of her, medically. Not even “Lollywood” cared to provide her any assistance and support. Is it not a shameful thing for a nation? Pakistan’s nation is not equal to few handfuls of individuals who have tenderness for others. To me Tamanna Begum left few questions, after spending a life full of success, pride and serving as a national artist (a national asset).

Questions include;

1. What is the use for working for your nation? At the end of the day every one’s life is busy and don’t have time for others.
2. What is the use of being patriotic? As patriotism does not provide treatment to an ailing patriotic. Money does.
3. Why do we teach live for others and care for others? Show me huge list of examples and not Cheepa, Edhi and such few others.
4. Do we have to wait for another Tamanna Begum to wake up?
5. Lets stop waiting for natural losses or unavoidable disasters to unite as a nation. Try to become a good individual on daily basis and find those people who are suffering from illnesses – of any kind.

Few Facts;

1. She spent 350,000/- PKR for treatment. Only for 9 days. She was admitted in Tabba Heart Hospital, Karachi.
2. She was then taken to SIUT, where she had free of cost treatment. I wish we have more of SUCH organizations.
3. How would a poor individual afford any treatment?

I wish Tamanna Begum’s soul rest in peace and may Almighty grant her mercy. Enough said!