Dear Ladies – Use Your Brains While Getting Interviewed For A Job

 It is a known fact that an interviewer decides whether to hire a candidate or not within 10 minutes. I am sure it’s pretty amazing as well as scary for most of the readers. One should be extra cautious while getting interviewed. After all, it’s about casting a spell. Isn’t it?

“Casting a spell” is mostly understood in a wrong way, especially by many women across the globe. It is important to understand that what should be embraced during an interview and what should be detached away. Following are some pointers which will help women bagging jobs rights away!

Dream Job – Does It Actually Exist? 

It has been noticed that majority of women usually try to impress their interviewers by bragging statements like “Wow! This is an ideal job for me.” Or “I always dreamed about this kind of job.” To be honest, no job can be a dream or ideal job because of the fact that there are many unpleasant things that a person has to perform for a job. 69% of the interviewers don’t appreciate this kind of replies.

 

Never Smack-off Your Ex-Boss:

Defaming your ex-company or superiors won’t help. In fact, it will definitely harm your personality and you won’t be able to impress your interviewer. 

You Know You Are Hot – Don’t Flaunt It, Where it’s not needed

It is a myth that women with out-going approach and bold behavior are appreciated in professional world, in third world countries. One should know that dressing up for going on a date is totally different from going to an interview. Genuine interviewer is more concerned about your skills and talent rather than your looks and oozing hotness.

Salary Is Not Everything – That Should Be In Your Mind

 

Discussing salary is not a good idea. Interviewers don’t appreciate the question related to salary at first place. Only 15% of the interviewers have agreed to the fact that it’s better to discuss remuneration in first meeting. Rest of them simply doesn’t want to discuss anything like that. So, if you are not asked about the salary, don’t initiate it from our end. 

Keep It Cool

Everyone has emotions but every time is not the right time to express emotions. This is key statement to understand that when you are attending an interview it is not advised to show your emotional side. It’s all about controlling, relaxing and coming up with a calculated idea or response.

Jeans! Are You Serious?

All those girls, who like to be casual and on them jeans look really cool and sexy, they should know the fact that “dress code” is very important. When going for an interview it is advised to wear something decent, formal and smart as well. No one wants to hire a casual candidate. It’s a serious job at which you applied right?

Getting Connected Is Important But Getting A Chance Is Vital:

We all know cell phones are status symbol nowadays, plus replying to every call and text message is what we usually love to do but when on interview, it’s not a right time to either answer any call or reply to any SMS. It is advised that you should switch of or at-least put your cell phone on silent. Even putting a phone on vibration is not a good idea as its humming sound can also cause distraction.

You Can Make Your Boyfriend Wait For You For A Lifetime But Not Your Boss

Arriving late for interviews is not good. This is the reason why every HR employee is of the view that a candidate should reach 10 – 15 minutes earlier. It gives a positive impression. It makes a candidate show his seriousness and punctuality, which count in professional environment. Always remember “time is money – don’t waste it” whether this time is yours or your boss’s.

 
I hope, if these points will be taken into consideration, your chances of getting hired will improve. Share your opinions as well.

And they think I am Crazy!

Just because a person wants to do what he feels, people (mostly) consider him (or her) weird. Why does one has to live according to others? And then it is said that people have freedom of living. Well, the reality is we are living in a society, irrespective of class segmentation, where we can still not “DO” what we want to. We are dependent upon our parents, spouses, kids, friends and professional colleagues and so on. 

The problem lies in other peoples’ mind not in one’s own. If a person wants to wear orange shirt irrespective of his age or hierarchical level he is considered as cheap. We do not associate people with their brains and capabilities but their dresses and visual smartness. On the contrary when we talk about using fonts for chatting, most of us go for vibrant colors and funky styles. Similarly all the marketing campaigns are carried out in unusual ways just to let that campaign differentiate from others.

Similarly if a person wants to look different from the “lot” then why does he have to face a lot of criticism and opposition from others? He usually becomes the center of the jest and tease from others. This does not tell how crazy he is but this depicts how crazy people are in either letting others feel shame or not letting anyone stand out. If a person is comfortable in his or her ways, why do others have to point it out as an alienating thing?

Similarly if a person loves to stay casual about things why do people have to force him to become serious psycho? Everyone has the right to live his life as per his own way and comfort then why do we try to influence others. There are numerous ways with which people influence other individuals. I personally believe that most of the individuals who are either insecure or frustrated within tend to advise others for being “so different” from the bunch. As they don’t have the balls to embrace that daring move hence they want to stop others too.

To me, it is a crazy thing to do. I mean we don’t stop people or friends from doing injustice to others. We also don’t stop any corruption, for which we have the power to stop. We even don’t stop our good friends (whom we respect) to date numerous girls and boys and fool them but we enjoy to stop them to live their lives in a way that they feel comfortable in.

Strange but true!

The English Fuck-tree (Factory)

Well this is amongst my first of “such posts” that I usually neither write nor read. It is in fact a thought that has encountered me almost every day, as I meet different individuals from different phases of life including students, professionals, entrepreneurs, bureaucrats and few politicians as well. All these individuals whom I met are usually educated, but the kind of language they use is pretty interesting.

Actually we (citizens of third world countries) have this “Keera”; worm of speaking English unnecessarily. Most of the individuals think that they do some “fantabulous job” when they speak this language. Anyways, following are few torturous, interesting and mind boggling incidents / encounters that I came across. At times they seem funny to me and at times (when I am tensed), they are horrible

I purchased a few CDs from a local music store, some of them didn’t work, and when I reached the vendor for exchanging the CDs he politely asked “Can I have your Dicks sir, so that I can check them by running and cleaning them in case they have scratches over them?” (phucking lord,  is it practically possible?) Then I realized he must be asking out for “Discs”. I handed him the Discs and he returned them after 10 minutes of thorough check-up by saying some golden words that I can never forget “Here are your new Dicks sir, enjoy them”

I was in my cabin working on a client’s file when a colleague of mine entered without knocking and asking me out “hey Dew’d you gotta Plaas?” I asked him twice what he meant and then he described the function of Pliers to me, to which I excused. Just imagine it in a situation when your “Boss” has assigned you an urgent task with limited timeline and someone asking questions like that.

Last month I was invited to a politicians’ house she, to me, looked quite qualified as the way she sa-peaks (Speaks) but when she handed over a note to me on which it was written “Well-cum to my hose” I was taken a back and re-thought, does she really wants/thinks that?” but then I retreated myself and kept my focus on other openings that might needed to be used in case of a quick exit.

When I was inducting writers in my team there were few incumbents whose interviews were scheduled some of them were really nice in both verbal and written English and some were horrifying. I interviewed a girl who was studying at Bahria University, she all of a sudden shoot “I don’t want to do a blowjob” (which she would have meant as “Below job”). I was literally shocked to hear her using such a term but then when she explained what she meant by “Blowjob” it all get clarified. On the contrary there are still many individuals who pronounce “Google” as “Googlie”. It is really hard to control a blast of laugh in such situations when you are sitting in a meeting and an enthusiastic employee adds his comments to get noticed by the others. And I don’t understand why “the” becomes “Daaa” and “Dhaa” by almost 75% of the educated class?

There are many people who are smart asses and they know how to blow their wrath out. In case if it is woman, a colleague of mine always asks “whore tame kee hoya hai?” (and/so what is the time?). Whenever he gets pissed off at any girl/woman he asks this to low down his BP.

There are many people around us who speak English as their fuss“t” language and not as FIRST (not because they know it but they speak to impress others). It is not just Meera or Veena whom we should make fun of, on the contrary we should not make fun of these people but instead educate them with. 

Share your thoughts on this and also share those words that you also find funny and extremely questionable (most usually read it as “Co-is-chun-able”)

P.S. Special Thanks to "Tashmeem Mirza" for correcting my mistakes)


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